Stress Isn't The Enemy--Isolation Is
January flew by in a blink, yet simultaneously lasted an entire year. I’m tempted to apologize for how late this newsletter is landing in your inbox. But I won’t.
I have a postcard on my fridge that features a photo from a brain MRI captioned*, “I’m distracted by the escalating horror of world events and find it hard to concentrate on my work.”
I spend way too much time on Instagram, but it’s not all doomscrolling. For example, today, I came across this great reframe of the quote above as seen in the screenshot below (credit: Tara Kermiet).
My God, we are witnessing unspeakable horrors!
I recently served as a “Zoom Host” for an online workshop related to last fall’s Jewish Death Conference. A rabbi from Minneapolis led the session.
As our time together wound down, he shared a bit of wisdom from the sages of yore. If a funeral procession and a wedding procession converge on a street, the wedding procession should go on, and the funeral procession should step aside. Quick interpretation**, make room for joy, even in times of grief.
In times of grief, you should also move beyond self-care to find community, support and be supported. Which leads me to another nugget I found on Instagram:
Stress isn’t the enemy—isolation is.
Community keeps me from falling into a pit of despairalysis (Maya Frost’s term for grief meets doom). When it’s just a person and their phone of doom, it’s easy to teeter over the edge.
Step away from the edge. Go out and be with people, for example, at this weekend’s Forest Bath (bonus: you also get to hang out with trees!).
Or come to a Hot Flashes Show.
Join me for dinner (see below).
Create a meet-up of your own! The more outrageous, the better.
A friend recently hosted a sheetcaking party. In the comfort of her dining room, we shared our current joys and rages. And then, in turn, a partygoer stood in front of the cake-laden table as the rest of us loudly chanted the slogan of her choice (usually a combo of an expletive + a name or organization). Once sufficiently amped up, she grabbed a handful of cake and shoved it in her mouth while we hooted and howled with laughter.
It was utterly ridiculous.
Completely childish!
Barely hinged!
And incredibly cathartic.
I left with a renewed sense of resolve and new friends, to boot. The party even pushed me back into the habit of calling my elected officials.
10/10. Highly recommend.
So when I invite you to join me to hug a tree this Sunday, it may sound silly, but it might be just what you need.
Stay safe, stay engaged, stay connected.
* Learn more and see it here.
** She was not the rabbi who spoke, but I like this 2020 commentary on the ancient advice.
Hot Flashes on a Sunday Afternoon
Hot Flashes are here again! Join us for our first Sunday matinée on February 15 from 3-4:30. We’ll be back at The Storefront in Skokie. I’ll have tea and discount Valentine’s Day candy for you.
Let’s Eat Cookies and Talk About Death
Stories of Life and Love will take place on Wednesday, March 11 thanks to sponsors Mike Dyer, financial advisor with Edward Jones, and Philip Flores, Jr. of Cremation by Water.
I have a spot (or maybe two) left at a Death Over Dinner - Jewish Edition that I’m hosting this Saturday night! It’s like eating cookies and talking about death, only we’ll eat a real meal and use pre-determined discussion prompts. (No, you don’t have to be Jewish to join in.)
Reach out if you’d like to join us on 1/31.
Ice cream and discussing death is another good option. Save the date for a program with Chicago Environmentalists that I get to be a part of without having to worry over the details.
And, of course, give a shout if I can help your family or members of your organization talk about death, end-of-life, disposition options, or grief.
Get Crafty
If you have a regular friend get-together, and want to try something new, let me make it a craft night.Or come to my house (up to 8 people) and I’ll clean up the mess!
I also offer a six-session Craft Your Life coaching program. Through weekly 1:1 sessions paired with meaningful craft activities, I’ll help you reclaim your mojo and reach your goals.
Making things is invigorating, healing. (Yes, I made that)
Until Next Time
I am a lay-arounder.
A good way to supplement your Wingspan knowledge.
Let me know what’s making you laugh or think these days.
Kim
Scrappy Affirmations normalizes being human in a complicated world. We help you build resilience and find your mid-life mojo through creative workshops, transformative coaching, heartfelt rituals, and essential end-of-life planning.