Two Kinds of Hope
What's Your Story?
Two Kinds of Hope. What's Your Story?
Next week I'm hosting my 7th(!) storytelling event of the year. You know I'm a fan of stories, how they connect us, and make us reflect. Stories help us relate, laugh, and cry. Stories can save us and make us feel whole. But in her Substack, Nothing in the Way, author Sunni Brown eschews stories, at least for the moment.
She muses about how, during troubled times like this, well-meaning friends may attempt to "save" her with a reassuring story.
"[My friends] seem to think my confusion or sorrow or bearing witness to hard things is an experience I need to be distracted from, something that requires a solution in the form of a story.
"Unpopular as it is, I’m not trying to make sense of anything. I’m not seeking to feel better... I don’t feel upset at the world for doing what it does, so I don’t require an encouraging story to make it bearable. I’m no more mad at the world for its ruthless assembly and disassembly than I am at the ocean for reshaping the face of a cliff."
Sunni, a practicing Buddhist, goes on to share thoughts on two types of hope as outlined in the book Deep Hope: Zen Guidance for Staying Steadfast When the World Seems Hopeless. They are vain hope and deep hope. Vain hope is shallow. It is tied to the stories we believe in. And when the story doesn't play out as we expected, Sunni explains, it leads to a slew of negative feelings.
Conversely, when we accept that the only certain story is one of change and uncertainty, we can feel deep hope. "... it welcomes a perplexingly benevolent reality, one in which all is lost and all is well at the same time."
I encourage you to read the full note.
Sunni's words are a powerful reminder to consider how and when we use stories in our lives. To note where they inspire and when we are simply buying into harmful lies because they are easier to digest in the short term. What power comes from sitting with uncertainty? There's a lot to ponder! I welcome your thoughts.
Here's a story about something I thought was a lie, but turned out to be true:
One time, my yoga teacher offered a cheesy mantra to the class. Gah, I rolled my eyes at him.
But after my son died by suicide in 2020, those words became my life raft. Join me to hear my story along with five other heartfelt true-life tales from Maria Kostas, Denise McIntosh, Mike Dyer, Abby Mills, and Michelle Valiukenas. Stories of Life and Love will take place on Wednesday, July 16, 2025, at 7 PM at Secret World Books in downtown Highland Park. The evening won't lighten your load like the kitten videos do, but you will leave feeling deeply human and refreshingly connected.